ॐ क्रीं कालिकाये नमः

My journey towards spirituality started with the grace, inspiration and teachings of My Father Sh. Jagdamba Prasad Srivastava, since childhood, who was a devotee of Sri Ram and Hanuman. I started worshipping and meditating since the very childhood inspired by him and seeing him meditate. He could meditate for hours together and even had many extra-ordinary experiences which included leaving himself on to the rotation of the Earth and he himself physically got spinning so fast which is unimaginable, which I later came to know that the earth spins very fast. He taught me that the main requirement in worshipping is what is your intent, “BHAWNA” as God only sees and understands what is your BHAAV as nothing is hidden form them. He always insisted on MANSA POOJA and was averse to KARM KAAND and RITI RIWAAZ. HE told me that, way to worship is to consider GOD as YOURSELF and as you do your daily chores like bathing, clothing, Shringaar, eating and giving dakshina to your GURU or any elder, same is the way GOD is to be worshipped and even if you understand all the MANTRAS which are being used by Priests in their daily routine of invoking GOD , it all mean the same, they only try to make it complicated in the garb of KARM KAAND and of course that is their livelihood, therefore, never get entangled in all these KARM KANDS and involve in actual search of finding the GOD who is truly yours and whose truly you are ,within yourself and when your desire is genuine and strong beyond every bound HE or SHE will reveal herself to you. He used to insist that in our character and life there should not be any difference between KATHNI (Saying) AND KARNI (Doing).He taught me the essence of spirituality and divinity through various stories, some from scriptures and some from his own experiences. With respect to GURU he used to tell that someone is someone’s GURU and then he is someone else’s GURU, but, who is the ultimate GURU? Which is your own GOD, who is PARAMGURU and therefore, why to get involved in the tradition of having GURUS and why not find the ultimate GURU, who is within you, who will come to you, provided you have the genuine PERSISITENCE, WILL, PURSUASIVENESS, PATIENCE and SINCERE DESIRE to find him or her. Having understood his teaching and intention I started my journey to find my true Deity, I worshipped Hanuman, SHIVA, KRISHNA, but was not satisfied as was not able to get completeness in my experiences with them.

During my childhood itself I had the inner call that, “I AM NOT BORN BUT HAVE BEEN SENT TO THIS EARTH FOR SOME REASN AND THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WAITNING FOR ME.” It is this call which was the major motivation in me to find my true deity and the one who would complete me and for that my search became very intense. My sole purpose became to find her/him and to find myself and to find my actual reason for being sent. The said calling and my desperation to find him/her came to be confirmed when I was around 25 years of age, when I saw face of KAALI in the house of Seema Ray & Mr.B.N.Ray, where she came and revealed herself to me. The experience was astonishing, divine, magical, incomprehensible and above of all “very satisfying”. My gaze got fixed on her and got so intense that I went into a trance and found the world around me vanishing. I saw myself revolving in such a high speed which cannot be explained and then I saw light around me with many colours. Then I realised that she has shown her NIRAKAR form without any definition or boundaries. I then realised then SHE is the ONE I was searching since my childhood who is complete, undefined and then I was told by her that I am part of her and my journey is to be HER. She told me that I should see her as a complete form without confining her in the relationship of only MAA as she is Prakriti and is everything therefore no boundaries or boundations can be attached to her. She is my mother, my wife, my sister, my daughter, my friend and everything which I would require in this world.In fact, SHE told me that the reason for her to be a STREE in HER AAKAAR Form is because a STREE is completeness as she is mother, wife, daughter, Lover, Friend and above all SHAKTI, i.e. ALL IN ONE and therefore, I should also worship her as complete ONE with no definition.

After having come out of the said trance I, without asking Mr Ray, I took the image of KAALI which gave me her FORM and kept her in my shirt pocket and after coming to my room at Majlis Park, I placed her above my study table. I then put a lamp below her which used to glow her face. It was “beautiful”. After I took her, I was told, rather, warned by people that her worship is very difficult and if the proper rituals are not performed it may harm me, but, I was neither perturbed, frightened or disturbed nor was effected by such warning and with the belief and confidence in me that SHE will teach me, I continued.

As in my side of the family, there used to be no one who used to worship Kaali, though, later I was told that my NAANI used to worship KAALI , but, as had never met her, so I could not get any help to know how to worship my KAALI. At this juncture KAALI told me she will help me, provided, I show my utmost faith. trust and desire to be HER, so I simply started chanting KAALI,KAALI,KAALI..and with passing of time she kept on teaching me the Mantras and making me experience her grace and her presence at every walk of my life and NOW I am here proudly claiming that “I AM KAALI” and that “SHE IS ME”.I am now “KALIMAY.”

When I asked her, “who am I?’’ She told me I am her part and am combination of RamaKrishna and Vivekananda as I have the faith and Trust of RamaKrishna as I never questioned her and her existences or form and surrendered to her without any doubt or question and I have the personality, education and knowledge like Vivekanada and therefore she has CHOSEN me to fulfil her Desire and VISION.SHE TOLD ME, “SHE IS ME AND I AM HER”

During her course of teachings, She told me that she is the most misunderstood form of Energy and Goddess. Though she is Aadi Shakti, ParaShakti, Prakriti, all permeable, omnipresent, she is Kaal and is not bound by time, She is the Janani of all, She is the Creator and Destroyer above all she is mother, but, most of the time people fear her by seeing her fearsome form in which she is Black, wearing garlands of human head, eyes protruding, tongue coming out, having sword in her hand and a human head in her other hand and above of all standing on SHIVA, her husband, but then she told me that this form is actually the form when she after realising her mistake that she has stood on her husband SHIVA, she immediately calmed down and the tongue conveys her realisation of her mistake and thus, why people try to calm her when that image is depiction of HER CALMNESS, STABILITY AND CONTROL OF MIND, that within seconds, despite her being in such rage that she was about to destroy the whole world, she realised her mistake and calmed down. She told me that I need to convey and tell everyone this aspect of her image and make them realise what actually MY KAALI is.

During the course of her teachings she explained to me the meaning of SURRENDER as according to her the entire teaching of GITA can be summarised into one word i.e. “SURRENDER”. She explained to me that when you ride a Glider, you put it on your back and keeping UTMOST Faith on the Glider you jump from the top of a cliff. When you Jump, then you first go down and after having reached the lowest point your Glider takes you up and then you sour high enjoying the independence. Same is the case with DIVINE SURRENDER, the reason of you going down is the time and journey which is taken to completely annihilate or extinguish or kill your EGO and YOURSELF, YOUR AHAM YOUR MAI, and the moment same is completely destroyed you become PART OF HER and then it is SHE, who, then takes your reins and then take you under HER shelter freeing you from all worries and everything which is mundane and then you sour into the DIVINE LIGHT, FREEDOM,SHEER ECSTACY,BOUNDLESS LOVE,PASSION, BEAUTY AND LIFE as you become HER. She also told me that every person’s journey upon Birth i.e. when he separates from HER is, to finally become BODHISATVA i.e. all knowing. She explained the same in the form of a circle where everyone starts his Journey from the centre of the CIRCLE, where, the person knows nothing else apart from what is around him in the circle and as an when he attains wisdom and Vairagya, rises above mundane things, reaches towards the edge of the circle where he is in a position to see both sides of the circle, inside as well as outside thus becomes BODHISATVA. She explained that everyone would eventually attain the said state but would take time based on his KARMAS, WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE AND ZEAL TO BECOME ONE WITH HER. She teaches me to be HER and I am on the said Path.

My KAALI explained to me her form, which I know is limitless, boundary less, NIRAKAR, complete, absolute, creator and JANANI, as, I know that one of the reasons for which I have been sent to this world, is to tell people of what KAALI is and to clear the various myths, falsity, doubts and confusions which people have, having been told by some Priests, Pujaris with their limited knowledge and for their material gains, which she then explained as follows;

“I am KAAL i.e TIME which has no AADI (beginning) OR ANT(end). It is no limit and no one can escape the KALCHKRAS except HER, The Cycle of BIRTH and REBIRTH, originates from her and end in her, She told me that she is absolute Knowledge, the inscrutable form of BRAHMAN, She is AAKAAR AND NIRAAKAAR, SHE CREATOR AND DESTROYER, She is AWAY FROM AND BEYOND SATYA ASATYA, AWAY FROM AND BEYOND BHAV AUR ABHAV and that BY HER MERE WILL SHE HAS GIVEN BIRTH TO THIS WORLD.”

In another discussion, once I asked My mother that people claim KEY to attain enlightment is to JAP “NAMH SHIVAY” i.e. five words which depicts five dimensions and panchbhuta that SHIVA is of five dimensions. It is claimed that AADI YOGI i.e. SHIVAA was roaming in ecstasy on earth around 60000 years ago, which he now being said around 15,000 years ago and when people wanted to know the reason for his ecstasy he wouldn’t tell though many people use to gather around him, at last, Seven Rishis remained, who after 85 years of request could persuade SHIVA to teach them and ultimately SHIVAA taught them 112 ways to achieve and realise GOD or to be aware of the greater force upon them. The saptarishis then went in seven directions though he remained there and preached the ways of YAGA.”YOGA” which means “UNION”. It is also claimed that KAALI is a from of uncontrolled energy having been created for a specific purpose. I therefore, requested her to tell me the KEY for enligtment and explain her form, which I know is limitless, boundary less, NIRAKAR, complete, absolute, creator and JANANI, and she explained as follows;

“I am KAAL i.e TIME which has no AADI(beginning) OR ANT(end). It is no limit and no one can escape the KALCHAKRAS. The Cycle of BIRTH and REBIRTH, originates from me and end in me. SHIVAA Is my creation and he, when found ecstatic, was in my ecstasy, as he had realised me. Have you ever seen me in anyone else’s ecstasy as since there is no one beyond me nor above me. SHIVA is part of me. She then told me THAT SHE IS DIMENSIONLESS AS BEAUTY AND HARMONY COMPRISES OF SEVEN COLOURS AND RAGAS WHICH ULTIMATELY CREATES NUMEROUS CLOURS AND SURS/RAGAS THEREFORE SHE IS BEYOND DIMENSION. SHE EVEN EXPLAINED THAT OUT OF THE SEVEN CHAKRAS FIRST FIVE CHAKRAS ARE SHIVAA AND REST TWO I.E. AGYA AND SAHASTRRAR AND BEYOND THAT ARE SHE. SHIVA IS ONE OF THE PATHS TO REACH HER. SHE SAID SHIVA IS HER DEVOTEE AND SHE LOVES HIM AS SUCH. She then said PERFECT HARMONY is when all THE COULRS, SURS AND CHAKRAS are in cohesion WITH EACH OTHER AND SHE DEPICTS THAT HARMONY. IN FACT, SHE IS THAT HARMONY. SHAV became SHIVA when KAALI met him.”

She then told me the reason for asking me to do a Mantras comprising of SEVEN words, as the same is the KEY to reach her. Grihasth Vairagi, “who is in it but not in it is the best way” to attain that Knowledge as you have not only fulfilled the requirements of your KARMA but also can leave something which you have experienced. Leaving anything without knowing is of no value. It is never complete and you are always in debt, which you would be required to discharge in your next cycle.

PATH to knowledge is VAIRAGYA because once you are free from all bonds, maya, moh and expectations you get to realise “WHO YOU ARE” and “knowing that” is what “KNOWLEDGE” is.

I could never understand the phrase “Bhai bin Preet Nahi” i.e.” NO LOVE Without Fear” as, in my understanding, as have been explained to me by My KAALI, that love is absolute Surrender, without any doubt or question and in such a situation the moment you fear a person, you tend to avoid, you tend to hide your emotions and other facts, you tend to lie, which ultimately would lead to destruction of faith and trust and would destroy the LOVE. Love should be free from all fear, complex or insecurity. Only goal should be to become ONE with each other so that what you desire becomes her desire and her desire becomes yours. AT THAT MOMENT YOU ARE ALWAYS IN THAT BLISS OF SCHITANAND AND PAMANAND.

The Vedic period till date has been propagated and developed by a society which is patriarchal and that is why most of the GODs and TRIDEV are male who are stated to have created, nurtured and may destroy the creation created by them, they are regarded as supreme beings, but, the said system is so biased that due to its alter ego and inferiority complex, it has always demeaned, ridiculed, undermined and suppressed the POWER of Women, though at every point of time when they are in need they invoked GODDESSES to protect them. This society completely ignored the basic facts that all are born out of AADISHAKTI who has given Birth to all beings and life forms including Devas, Asurs, Gandharvas, Manav, Jeev, Jantu, PAshu,Pakshi, Bhoot Pret Pisach and all that has life or no life on earth. It is SHE who is Prakriti and it is SHE who is capable of giving birth, who has given birth, who nurtures, cares and love the life forms all that exists on this EARTH. She IS absolute, formless and with form and of and with various dimensions as well as beyond dimensions. She is complete, independent and self sufficient and self sustaining. She Do not require Men, on the other hand, Men Require her and is incomplete without her. That is why Shiva who was incomplete without SHAKTI became ARDHNARISHWAR. But, Men out of their own complex ignore and do not accept or acknowledge this Basic TRUTH.

I, then realised that one of the reasons for which I have been sent to this world, is to tell people of what KAALI is, and to clear the various myths, falsity, doubts and confusions which people have, having been told by some Priests, Pujaris with their limited knowledge and for their material gains. I am here to clear such myths and let people know what My KAALI is and HOW TO BE A PART OF HER, by unconditional surrender, absolute faith and unfettered LOVE.

Upon her grace and blessings I was so immersed in HER that I stated ignoring all other forms of energies and GODS, to which she told me that every form of energy has its own presence, role and value in one’s life as like other members of the family and therefore, they should never be ignored or disrespected, but, should be bestowed their due respect. She said by doing so I am not getting away from her but infact, am actually respecting more of her forms and further completing my surrender towards her.

By Kaali’s grace and blessings my life has been full of numerous and amazing experiences of her revealing herself, her love, her affection, her care, her presence and her Vision of teaching people of her form, her grace and her benevolence, her kindness, her generosity, her munificence and her omnipresence, which I shall share in my other chapters and videos. For that she wanted her form to be seen and understood by everyone who should be told that in her fearsome form there lies a most loving, caring, beautiful, serene, calm Mother who is always there to take care and protect her children and all those who love her and want to be with her.

In order to fulfil the above vision and desire and to cater to most neglected class of the society mostly orphans and Elderly she showed me a Temple complex, consisting of a huge temple for her having at least 108ft high Form of her with a self sustaining unit consisting of VRIDHASHRAM, ANATHASHRAM, HOSPITAL, SCHOOL, THEATRE,RESEARCH CENTRE,LIBRARY, MEDITATION HALL, STADIUM, AMPHITHEATRE, GAUSHALA, FARMLAND, GARDEN FOR HER, HER ROOM,ESIDENTIAL AND OFFICE COMPELEX,GUEST HOUSE AND OTHER AMENITIES MAKING THE SAID COMPLEX A SELF SUSTAINING UNIT.

Her main intention to create the above complex was to see that orphans are taken care of by the elderly and these orphans are educated in such manner that the become PHILOSOPHER CITIZENS and when they go out in the society, out of their teachings of SANATAN DHARMA and upbringing, bring about a positive change in the Society.

She also told me to create a system by which already existing Government Hospitals and schools are adopted and be equipped with best of the facilities so that the children are properly educated and the patients are taken care of at their locals itself. She also, being mother, wants me to ensure that I approach government and propose them that the mid-day meals for the children be prepared by their mothers because of which the children would not only have the best of the meals but also their mothers would have a source of Income. She also wanted that the organisation to be created by me should provide three meals of very good quality at a very cheap prize to be provided at all the Hospitals across India under the name of her Grace, “KAALI KEE THALI”. She further inspired me to create a force of advocates under the organisation being created , by the name of KAALI KEE FAUJ, to provide free of cost legal services to those people who are in need and cannot afford a lawyer.

Since I have utmost faith in her I did not even think for a moment that this is an arduous and near to impossible task that too for a man of limited means, as I knew that since it’s her desire she will ensure that the same is brought into existence and found myself feeling blessed that she has chosen me for such a task.

She even told me that the said complex is to be made at the Banks of MAA Ganga at Garh Mukteshwar, where, the GANAS of SHIVAA got their Mukti(Salvation).

It is for that reason in a span of 25 years since the day She revealed herself to me and till date things with me has been happening very fast. In these many years I have journeyed from KV to St. Stephen’s and Law Faculty, became an advocate of lower court till Supreme Court and Solicitor with UK and Wales, Became the President of a Political Party which floated the concept of AAM AADMI in 2002 and even fought around seven seats in Delhi assembly elections, Journeyed from CYCLE to have the capacity to own a Mercedes Benz, have been blessed with substantial assets comprising of two houses and offices, a complete and supporting family, number of clients both individual and corporate and a substantive source of income, reputation as a decent and hardworking lawyer that too in a span of twenty years of Practice in Delhi, without any background, Travelling almost half of the World and India. During my life time I even had near death experiences two time one of them was in Dec 2008, when I was diagnosed with cancer in my Kidney, which by her Grace and WILL, got diagnosed at a very initial stage and the doctor recommended removal of my right Kidney and when I asked her what to do she said you don’t have to think, What I have given you I am taking it Back and therefore, sit back and enjoy the ride and by her Grace the operation was concluded successfully and here I am hale and heart all because of HER.

At the end. In order to fulfil the said Vision and to ensure that proper support and funds are made available, She made me meet PRAHSNATA Bhai, who has been my mentor, teacher, philosopher and elder brother, again after college and involved me into creation of certain machines and Vehicles which will ensure not only money but also cleanse the already vitiated PRAKRITI, which she herself is.

In nutshell, By her blessings and Grace, I have had a complete and fulfilling life with no desire for anything more, as, there is no end to desire and wanting to have more and more and because of which I have decided to denounce all MAYA and MOH and worldly desire and step into the next AASHRAM (stage) of My life i.e. VANPRASTHA AASHRAM after having successfully and completely passing the Brahmcharya and Grihasth AASHRAM.

The same is being done with the clear intention and mandate to myself to devote my remaining life to try to achieve what is MY KAALI’s VISION and Desire, with utmost sincerity, devotion, faith, trust, hardwork and zeal so that even if I am unable to achieve the same within this life span, which I doubt thatI will not be able to do in this life span, as I know and have full faith and Trust in her that SHE WILL ENSURE THAT THE SAME HAPPENS, then in such unlikely eventuality, I shall promise myself that I will come back again and shall than finish the remaining work to fulfil her desire and VISION.

I would like to make it clear that even during my VANPRASTHA AASHRAM, I shall continue to cater to those clients towards whom I have certain responsibility left, and shall do lot of PRO-BONO cases as a Part of KAALI KEE FAUJ and in the meanwhile shall also clear all my dues, debts and liabilities which I have towards certain people and Institutions. VANPRASTHA does NOT MEAN SANYAS, in this AASHRAM, one continues to be a part of the society but do not devote all his time to discharge of GRAHASTHA as the next generation takes over and the one who leaves the Grihastha aashram continues to advise, if sought , the family left behind. But, then is expected to devote more of his time into serving his or her deity, In order to achieve the above stated vision of her and assignment assigned by her to me I realised that the profession she had asked me to chose would be great help and since it would take a lot of time to become a reality, therefore, I was told to draw a line in this mundane life of rat race at the age of Fifty and thereafter embark upon the said journey of fulfilling her vision.
Thus, with her consent I got created this Trust By the name of MARG DARSHAN which was originated and designed by my wife MEENU who herself is a great devotee of SHIVA and an astrologer by profession. In the Objectives of the said Trust ,all My KAALI’s desire and vision has been incorporated and I am sure that with her Grace and with the support of all her children, disciples and devotees, like you, we all will be able to achieve what she desires and make her HAPPY.

In conclusion of the present chapter, I would, with her blessing and advise, like to suggest that when you try to find her and be a part of her, DONOT restrict yourself as she has no LIMITS, do not think or look for any MANTRA or way to worship her, JUST unconditionally Love her, respect her, trust and have Faith in her and SHE will surely reveal herself to you and will GUIDE you in every aspect of your life, Just let yourself be free and allow things, visions and thoughts come to you, they all come from her and take them in the same spirit as are being sent don’t try to interpret or put in your mind, Surrender everything which you do as unto her as it is She who does everything, you are nothing else, but, a means to get the said work done, Except everything as it is and thank her for everything as it is given by her, be it happiness or sorrow which you feel, which though are same for her as they are meant for your betterment and seek forgiveness for any trespasses or defiance, which may happen, as “to err is human”, but, then never repeat the same.

SHE IS KAALI SHE IS ADYA SHAKTI SHE IS PRAKRITI SHE IS JANANI SHE IS ALL LOVING MOTHER SHE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND TAKE CARE OF YOU AND WHEN REQUIRED SHE CAN BE FEROCIOUS AGIANST YOUR ENEMIES TO SAFEGUARD YOU,SO,LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY AND BE HER WITHOUT ANY THOUGHTS. HER GRACE AND BLESSINGS ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ALL THOSE WHO SEEK IT WITH DEVOTION AND SINCERETY. SO ENJOY THE RIDE!!!! JAI MAA KAALI.